Post by Ryzxn on Mar 11, 2013 2:00:19 GMT -5
Hey all. So, I'm actually part of my school's first ever literary magazine thingy and I was trying to come up with something to submit for it, and thus, Huntress was born. I would really LOVE some constructive criticism on it. Tell me what you think of it. Please. With a homemade chocolate cookie on top.
Run.
Pack.
Run.
Hunt.
A thousand writhing bodies with an intent to hunt. To eat. To kill. The silence left in their wake, with only the sound of the leaves whispering to each other to indicate their presence or lack thereof. The girl in the tree could imagine the leaves' gossip.
“There they go again.”
“Who is it this time?”
“The sun will rise red tomorrow.”
“It always does after a full moon.”
They were dark creatures, predators of the night—of the moon—and the light of said moon glanced off their pelts as they ran swiftly, constantly moving to avoid obstacles, never stumbling. The screams of unlucky animals filled the air as they tried to sate their hunger for blood. Teeth and claws digging into the flesh of rabbits, mice, voles. Blood flowing freely on the forest floor.
But it wasn't enough.
Hunt.
Run.
Kill.
Their one-word thoughts, their means of communication, flowed so easily between them that she could practically hear their ideas out loud. They called her forward. They wanted her to join them—run with them. That aspect of their lives was alluring. Freedom, sweet freedom, was all the girl longed for. They had that. If she answer their calls, she could have it as well, but she didn't want her freedom handed to her on a silver plate by a pack of bloodthirsty beasts that would turn on her at any second.
No, she told them in her mind.
The mass of fur and teeth and wagging tails continued, but they heard her. One lupine body slipped away from the others.
The she-wolf approached the base of the tree the girl was sitting in and waited at it's base, crouching casually with tail wrapped around forelegs. Her sleek black body, muscles rippling under silky fur with every movement, faded into shadow, then returned to solid form in the moonlight. She watched the girl, and the girl's icy blue eyes dared to meet her dark green ones.
The she-wolf looked at the girl with almost sad eyes. Then she spoke in the girl's mind.
Come, you belong with us.
“I don't,” the girl said aloud.
Mine, the wolf said.
“No, I am my own,” the girl protested. “You don't own me.”
Come down here and we'll see who is superior, said the she-wolf, starting to get annoyed. Her tail flicked once across the forest floor, much to the protest of the leaves resting there.
“Come up here and we'll see who'll win.”
The dark figure on the ground growled in response, a low, primal sound that involved the clicking of teeth against teeth. A warning sound.
Slowly, the girl made as if to descend to the ground—to comply. Instead of actually doing so, she reached behind her and, drawing the weapon from a crook in the tree, aimed a knocked arrow at the wolf below her.
The she-wolf gave a cry of outrage and indignation. With a powerful leap, full of coiled muscle and adrenaline, she lunged at the girl, latched onto her leg, tore through flesh.
As the girl was yanked down, the arrow flew from the bow and hit the she-wolf straight in the forehead, above the muzzle, between her dark green eyes. The vice-like grip on the girl's leg loosened, but the dead weight of the wolf dragged her down, made her fall to the ground. Alerted by the scent of blood, the other wolves circled around, doubled back and fell upon the girl. Torn flesh, ripped muscle. Teeth, claws, cries of pain. Howls of victory, wolves hyped up on the thrill of the hunt, of the kill. Then silence as the wolves faded away to mist and nothing.
All except for the whispering of the leaves.
“They got their kill.”
“The little huntress failed.”
“She was taken.”
“She was theirs from the start.”
“They always are.”
“But she got her freedom. She died her own.”
“So you say.”
From the ground, the she-wolf rose up out of the dust, sniffed the bones of the girl that once had blue eyes. Then the wolf's now icy blue eyes closed, and, raising her muzzle in a final howl to the moon, she faded away as well, following her pack.
Until the next time, with a new girl, a new hunt, and a new pair of eyes to grace the black-furred she-wolf's pretty face.
Huntress.
Run.
Pack.
Run.
Hunt.
A thousand writhing bodies with an intent to hunt. To eat. To kill. The silence left in their wake, with only the sound of the leaves whispering to each other to indicate their presence or lack thereof. The girl in the tree could imagine the leaves' gossip.
“There they go again.”
“Who is it this time?”
“The sun will rise red tomorrow.”
“It always does after a full moon.”
They were dark creatures, predators of the night—of the moon—and the light of said moon glanced off their pelts as they ran swiftly, constantly moving to avoid obstacles, never stumbling. The screams of unlucky animals filled the air as they tried to sate their hunger for blood. Teeth and claws digging into the flesh of rabbits, mice, voles. Blood flowing freely on the forest floor.
But it wasn't enough.
Hunt.
Run.
Kill.
Their one-word thoughts, their means of communication, flowed so easily between them that she could practically hear their ideas out loud. They called her forward. They wanted her to join them—run with them. That aspect of their lives was alluring. Freedom, sweet freedom, was all the girl longed for. They had that. If she answer their calls, she could have it as well, but she didn't want her freedom handed to her on a silver plate by a pack of bloodthirsty beasts that would turn on her at any second.
No, she told them in her mind.
The mass of fur and teeth and wagging tails continued, but they heard her. One lupine body slipped away from the others.
The she-wolf approached the base of the tree the girl was sitting in and waited at it's base, crouching casually with tail wrapped around forelegs. Her sleek black body, muscles rippling under silky fur with every movement, faded into shadow, then returned to solid form in the moonlight. She watched the girl, and the girl's icy blue eyes dared to meet her dark green ones.
The she-wolf looked at the girl with almost sad eyes. Then she spoke in the girl's mind.
Come, you belong with us.
“I don't,” the girl said aloud.
Mine, the wolf said.
“No, I am my own,” the girl protested. “You don't own me.”
Come down here and we'll see who is superior, said the she-wolf, starting to get annoyed. Her tail flicked once across the forest floor, much to the protest of the leaves resting there.
“Come up here and we'll see who'll win.”
The dark figure on the ground growled in response, a low, primal sound that involved the clicking of teeth against teeth. A warning sound.
Slowly, the girl made as if to descend to the ground—to comply. Instead of actually doing so, she reached behind her and, drawing the weapon from a crook in the tree, aimed a knocked arrow at the wolf below her.
The she-wolf gave a cry of outrage and indignation. With a powerful leap, full of coiled muscle and adrenaline, she lunged at the girl, latched onto her leg, tore through flesh.
As the girl was yanked down, the arrow flew from the bow and hit the she-wolf straight in the forehead, above the muzzle, between her dark green eyes. The vice-like grip on the girl's leg loosened, but the dead weight of the wolf dragged her down, made her fall to the ground. Alerted by the scent of blood, the other wolves circled around, doubled back and fell upon the girl. Torn flesh, ripped muscle. Teeth, claws, cries of pain. Howls of victory, wolves hyped up on the thrill of the hunt, of the kill. Then silence as the wolves faded away to mist and nothing.
All except for the whispering of the leaves.
“They got their kill.”
“The little huntress failed.”
“She was taken.”
“She was theirs from the start.”
“They always are.”
“But she got her freedom. She died her own.”
“So you say.”
From the ground, the she-wolf rose up out of the dust, sniffed the bones of the girl that once had blue eyes. Then the wolf's now icy blue eyes closed, and, raising her muzzle in a final howl to the moon, she faded away as well, following her pack.
Until the next time, with a new girl, a new hunt, and a new pair of eyes to grace the black-furred she-wolf's pretty face.
And in chorus, we learn how to read music. What about you?
But yeah, working on the missing location pictures. <3