Losing my Sanity; Gaining You [p, Fae Queen]

[Laurnen Eliana Kiluna]

She silently walked down the alleyway, turning at a corner to be greeted by the familiar bright lights that lined the main road that eventually led up to the palace at the top of the hill. Laurnen, not hearing Micah coming after her, let herself revel in the beauty of Indopion and drop her Queenly act. It was always a to behold at nighttime, the enchanted lamps softly glowing every few feet, with people in all ranks of social standing rushing about. Many merchant's stalls were on the sides of the paved road, with their stands covered in colorful fabric. It was always a loud place to be at, what with the traders shouting out deals, people talking to eachother and then speaking louder to be heard over everyone else, but Laurnen loved it. It was a symbol of what she strived to protect with her Queenship. Smiling, a few tears leaked from her eyes. She didn't know why she was feeling so emotional, but it wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Until Micah silently walked up behind her and said, "Very well. Goodbye, Laurnen." The Queen turned to him with a small frown on her face, hastily wiping away the few tears and hoping that he hadn't seen them. She had no patience for this game and act to go on anymore; it had already gone on too far, and the sleep was beginning to catch up on her again.

Walking as brisk as she could, which wasn't very fast with her short legs, she rushed into the street and lost herself in the small crowd. It was insane how many people there were out and about this time of day, but travelers were always arriving, and who knew what the nobles were up to? Standing there for a moment, people pointed at her and whispered to eachother. Laurnen remembered that her cloak hood was down and her hair was exposed, but she didn't care anymore. She just didn't have the energy to.

Sighing, Laurnen turned back to where the alleyway had ended, where Micah was standing. Her navy blue eyes downcast, she asked, "Where are you going, Blac-- Micah? I guess . . . Well, I must apologize for being so rude to you, but I didn't know what you were like. Is the offer for an escort still valid?" She looked back up and smiled weakly. She suddenly felt bad for how she treated him. It didn't matter what was affecting it - the beautiful city, the accustomed but unwelcome stares - but she knew that Micah, at least tonight, didn't care who she was, and that was all she wanted right now.

[Micah Lorren Blackthorn]

Micah watched as Laurnen found herself tangled in the spiderweb that was the beauty of the city she ruled. It was a sight, Micah admitted, but not something he'd get so emotional over. Perhaps it was because Laurnen was Queen. Micah doubted he'd ever tear up over a city, no matter how beautiful the picture of it was. Still, he was a guy, and, once more, a male that would never understand women and their emotions.

Micah resisted the urge to chuckle when Laurnen started forward, then, when people began to recognize their Queen, turned back to him and said, "Where are you going, Blac-- Micah? I guess . . . Well, I must apologize for being so rude to you, but I didn't know what you were like. Is the offer for an escort still valid?"

Instead, Micah smiled and replied, "Of course, Your Majesty. The road to the palace is no detour for me. For reasons I don't know because I didn't care to ask why, I'm staying at the palace. Courtesy of my father. You're stuck with me for a while longer, My Dear." Micah approached Laurnen and offered his arm, hoping she'd actually accept it this time since they were about to fight their way through crowds that would kill for a cheap deal on the latest trends.

After a moment of silence, Micah caught himself staring at Laurnen's lips, longing for the taste of her again. Micah held himself back from leaning down and kissing Laurnen in front of a majority of Indopion. To distract himself from kissing her, he spoke--though it hardly helped, knowing the implication of his words. "Besides, I still owe you a bow."

It was going to be a long night, it seemed.

[Laurnen Eliana Kiluna]

"Of course, Your Majesty. The road to the palace is no detour for me. For reasons I don't know because I didn't care to ask why, I'm staying at the palace. Courtesy of my father. You're stuck with me for a while longer, My Dear."

Laurnen narrowed her blue eyes slightly, instantly suspicious. So, Micah just happened to be staying at the palace? Coincidences didn't just happen like that, but she decided to brush it off. It didn't really matter where Micah was staying . . . except that he was in the palace with here, probably in the right wing, which was close to her room. She hoped that his being near didn't affect her, but she thought that as soon as he said, "Besides, I still owe you a bow."

The Queen instantly blushed, her mind going back to her kiss. She had been telling herself that she had just been going along with the game of theirs, but she knew it was much more. No matter how much she flirted, things had never gone more than a glance at her lips - people were too afraid to meddle with the Queen, but Micah was different, and he had already proved that.

Hoping that Micah hadn't seen her blush or dismissed it as make-up, she replied somewhat evenly, "Well, while I am sure you would enjoy it, I have no time right now for that sort of thing." There she was, slipping back into her normal personality. The truth was, she had no time for her emotions to be muddled with lust. Yes, that was all there was between them - lust. Micah was lusting for the time of his life, and bragging rights about kissing the Queen or possibly taking it farther, while Laurnen was lusting for some escape from her Queenly life.

But it seemed neither of them would get what they wanted, if Laurnen could help it.

[Micah Lorren Blackthorn]

Micah grinned as he saw the Queen blush. Sure, she was wearing makeup, and sure, it could have been a trick of the light, but Micah was betting on the fact she was attracted to him--or at least his lips. Besides, though the rush of color to Laurnen's cheeks faded away as quickly as it came, Micah had seen it. He didn't doubt it at all. He just hoped it--and, under the circumstances it likely was--he who caused the Queen's expression to betray her feelings.

And then Micah felt her slipping away from him. No.Micah suddenly felt the urge to plead with her. To grab her by the shoulders and tell her that whatever she'd been through before, he'd be better than that. It occured to Micah that this was out of character for him. When did he ever, ever promise himself so quickly to a woman? Even if she was the Queen of the Fae. . . No, even if she was Laurnen--it didn't matter if she was Queen or not--Micah never was one to promise he could be better. He didn't strive to please anyone but himself. At least, he'd never tried to do so before. So what was wrong with him?

It's the alcohol, he told himself. It's getting to my head. Yet, even as he chanted the words in his mind a couple of times, he knew that couldn't be true. He was not drunk. Micah Blackthorn did not get drink on a few glasses of cheep drink. Wait. He was drunk. Just not on alcohol. He was on a high caused by Laurnen--ensnared by her, the Queen of the fae. He didn't want anything to come of it, anyway. Really, marrying the fae Queen would only cause trouble.

Wait. Marrying? Hell, Micah's brain was full of red herrings all of the sudden.

Micah's heart said this was something more than just a fling. Heck, he actually wanted it to be more than just a fling. But he was in no position to hope for that at all. Laurnen was a Queen, likely promised to a noble of the highest prestige, not one that slunk away into the darkness of grungy taverns and stinky bars. Still, he had a little hope. He wasn't sure what exactly he was hoping for, because he knew he didn't want to marry Laurnen. But maybe he was hoping for a little love. Someone to be himself around. And he knew Laurnen felt the same way. Maybe not towards him, but he knew, as the fae Queen, she would have to put up fronts all the times. Maybe, he could prove to her that he was worth it enough to get a glance at her true colors.

"The Queen of the fae doesn't have time?" Micah asked in response to Laurnen's excuse. "Come on, Laurnen. You're a Queen. You can make time for anything, if you wish it." Micah watched her. Really watched her. Not just lusting over a kiss or something along those lines, even if Micah would "enjoy it," as Laurnen said. Again, Micah wanted to argue with her. Don't go, he wanted to say. I want to know you, I want to see who you really are underneath all those layers and masks and facades. Please. Instead, sighing slightly, he added, "Just . . . Wouldn't it be nice to not be so . . . High-and-mighty for a while? Don't even go there with the pun, I realize that--yes--you are a queen. I mean, wouldn't it be nice to be yourself? And don't try and tell me you are being yourself. No one stands that straight naturally."

Micah ran a hand through his hair. He was about to take a risk, one that made his heart beat fast than when he'd kissed her. "I guess, I just want to know you, who you are. Who you really are. I'm curious."

[Laurnen Eliana Kiluna]

Laurnen watched Micah carefully, seeing him grin. Surprisingly, it was a quite nice smile, not one full of falsity and lies, which is what she was surrounded by in her daily life. It also wasn't a seductive, suggesting smile, one that she never liked getting. It wasn't a mean, sarcastic smile that always hurt her though she never let it show. It was a warm, happy smile that made her feel happy in return. Butterflies fluttered slightly in her stomach, and her forehead wrinkled ever so slightly. Why was she nervous? Quickly, she dismissed that feel, but her happiness faded also, reminding her of her duty of Queen and the disaster of Micah. No, she could not let the conversation proceed as it was starting to go. She needed to gain control of it again.

Still, though, she stared at Micah in silence, her bright eyes wondering. She saw thoughts flickering in his mind, and Laurnen wanted to know what they were, what he thought of her. Had he felt the same way about that kiss as her? Probably not, she thought to herself. He's had plenty of kisses before, and girls throwing themselves over him. Why would he feel anything more than a curiosity about how well the Queen kissed? But she could deny the truth - she had felt chemistry between the two of them, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself they didn't have any.

Her mind went back to the kiss, and almost immediately her navy eyes darkened slightly and a hint of a flush returned to her pale cheeks. Unconsciously, her pressed lips parted slightly, and when the Queen realized what was happening, she broke her gaze with Micah's and turned to the side, her whole face turning pink. What if he had deducted what she was thinking about, understood how much a single kiss had affected - no, had changed her? Her blush faded away almost as fast as it had come as the the seriousness of the situation returned to her.

She had to convince Micah that nothing had come of this kiss, or he might grow confident enough to go farther, and - no, she couldn't afford to be distracted at such a crucial moment in the war between the humans, elves, and dwarves. Laurnen had to concentrate on keeping everyone calm, and not on some silly lust she felt for a troublemaker noble.

Making up her mind about what to do, she turned back to Micah and opened her mouth to say something, but Micah beat her to the chase. Silently, listening, her expression turned more and more stunned as he kept on talking, and eventually she gave up trying to hide it. What? What had he just said? Just when she thought she had Micah categorized in a small box, he said something like this. Was he truly more than the handsome noble with a devilish attitude she had thought of him at first, then the mischievous manipulator she had later labeled him?

Her feelings in a whirl, Laurnen finally focused on one. Anger. Who was he to go and talk to her like this? Someone below her, that's who. Concentrating on that and swallowing, she quickly improvised on what to say.

Drawing herself to her full height - which wasn't very much, and not much taller than before, - flipping her long hair over her shoulder elegantly, and laughing cruelly, Laurnen hardened her expression.

"Truly? You know exactly who I am. Actually, most of Finalu does! I am the Queen of the Fae, and that is all I am. Now, Blackthorn, who are you, really?" she drew the last word on, mocking his use of words. "Are you someone who is suited for prison for speaking to a Queen like that? Curiosity doesn't help anything, especially if you are thrown out of Eulica. I'd suggest you get rid of that attribute lest you get yourself into real trouble. I'm sure your father wouldn't be very happy with that, hm?" She knew that she was crossing a line by mentioning his father, and she felt slightly guilty for quickly switching her moods like that on him. But she pushed away that emotion, as a Queen is ought to do, which is what she should have done earlier. Instead, he had pushed her into a moment of weakness, a moment as herself.

Walking off, she faced Micah, adding, "Now, escort me to the palace properly or I shall be forced to take . . action." She laced a subtle threat in her words - even though she was known as a benevolent ruler, and Fae were generally very carefree, the Queen always knows how to act in situations like this.

Whipping around, the crowd parted around her, all freely staring between the two as she started once again towards the palace.

[Micah Lorren Blackthorn]

Micah watched Laurnen's reaction. He saw her eye dance with multiple emotions. He noticed the color that heated her cheeks before she turned away. Was it all because of him? Did he really have that much affect on her? Surely, she wasn't playing him, right? For a moment, panic stabbed at Micah. As much as he hated to admit it, he, one, did not want this to end with the Fae Queen using him as a toy (this was Micah, it should be the other-way-'round), and two, he actually felt something for her. He'd only met her that night, known her for maybe an hour at most, but Micah couldn't deny the spark between them.

Or the way his stomach flipped over when he kissed her.

Then she started walking and Micah could tell she didn't want him to get to know her. Maybe she was playing with him, or maybe she was tired of him playing with her. Either way, Micah wasn't going down without a fight. Even if Laurnen did just threaten to throw him out of the country.

Micah reached out and took hold of Laurnen's wrist--not tight enough to hurt her, but strong enough to get her attention. "Laurnen, don't you see? This is exactly what I mean," Micah said. Sure, his brain wasn't working particularly well around her, and he was doing things on a whole knew level of stupid, but at least he knew what his point was. "When someone tries to get close to you, you go all 'I'm the Queen of the Fae, I have to be distant' on them.

"You're not like that. I know because everyone puts on these masks. You're acting like the perfect queen, with the perfect life, and perfect attitude, but you're not. Because no one's perfect. You can't be flawless all the time without faking it. Trust me, I'd know. I tried it for years.

"And, if I'm wrong, go through with your threats. No one would care anyway." Micah ran his hand through his hair again, resisting the urge to sigh. He took in a deep breath, then released it. "What does it matter if you exile me? Maybe it is who I am. Anyway, I never did give a d*mn about what makes my father happy. If you throw me in prison, or exile me, you'll just stay in my mind as a liar, because you went that far to keep me from tearing down that mask of yours--the one you show to the world as who you really are, the Fae Queen."

Micah could tell Laurnen was mad. Heck, he felt mad, but in another sense of the word. He was crazy, going insane. But once he was wrapped up in Laurnen, he couldn't back down. He didn't want to lose her.

Finally, finished with his speech, Micah did sigh this time, deflated. "Very well, Laurnen," Micah said. "I'm done. Let's attempt to get you home without getting trampled by the crowds."

[Laurnen Eliana Kiluna]

Laurnen stopped when she heard Micah's angry retort, fury frozen on her face. It wasn't only that he was speaking so freely in public bad words about the Queen - though that was certainly part of it - but that what he was saying was the truth. She hated to admit it to herself, but yes, what he was accusing was true. She backed away from close friendships, she acted perfect, she made empty threats to seem superior, and she was a liar.

She literally shook slightly from fury - at herself. She knew that she would just ignore his words, that she would go on being a liar and perfect Queen, but right now they really got to her and stabbed her in the heart. She was falling in a void of emotions, so she said nothing and just gritted her teeth, a very unQueenly thing to do, let out a heavy breath, and continued walking.

When she thought about it later, Laurnen didn't really remember the walk. She remembered being angry and sad and everything between, but no details about anything that happened. Then again, nothing happened except that she kept walking robotically and staying ahead of Micah, no matter how fast she had to walk with her shorter legs. Whatever game they had been playing before in the alleyway, it didn't matter. The game was over - it was now life.

When she reached the palace, she strode straight in and walked up to her room, not paying attention to where Micah was. Immediately, her personal maid grabbed her and clucked upon her soiled shoes and wrinkled dress. Her maid helped her out of all the complicated layers and corset and petticoats and such until she was dress in a white lace nightgown. Her maid bid her farewell and left, at least until morning.

Laurnen switched off the lamp at her bedside and climbed in bed, staring at ceiling, not able to sleep. She let the event of the day - no, the night, wash upon her until her eyes filled with tears. No, no, a Queen did not cry . . . And there she was, trying to act all perfect again. Micah was right. Laurnen was just a fake hidden under layers of lies. The nighttime, when the staff at the palace were all asleep and the nobles were snoring in their beds, was the only time she could truly be alone. If she was to ever cry in peace, this would be the only time. She didn't want anyone comforting her, she just wanted to get it all out, the emotions she had been struggling to hide ever since she had met Micah.

She let out a choked sob and turned on her side, burying her face in her pillow, still trying to not let the tears out in spite of herself. But when she closed her eyes in defeat, a tear fell onto the pillow, and then she could not stop. Laurnen let out everything.

She was a fake, a child, someone never fit to be Queen. She was a failure, a puppet, an idiot for not realizing all of this before. She was defeated by a few words from a man.

[Micah Lorren Blackthorn]

After Micah's outburst, Laurnen froze. If looks could kill, Micah would've died there, on the spot. Her expression was so done up in anger that Micah wondered how much he got to her. Then, she stalked onward, constantly pushing ahead of Micah whenever he moved to catch up. Obviously, Laurnen wasn't in the mood to even look at him any longer, so he let her push forward without pressing her to go faster.

Micah had a feeling that he would pay for all of this later, but he didn't regret it. (OOC: Yes, you will. Ry is going to both emotionally and physically kill you. Your heart will burst and bleed out all over your chest, in all senses of the phrase.) Maybe it was because he figured Laurnen felt the same way he did, at least in one point in his life. Growing up, he'd acted just the same way she did now, at least towards his mom. He'd loved her, or at least looked up to her. It was his mother he remembered tucking him into bed and reading him stories as a child. No matter how much he resented her for stealing away all of his father's love, Micah always wanted to make her proud. He'd put on the mask of never being hurt, never feeling pain for his mom. Because it made his mom happy. Because he loved her; he wanted her to be happy.

But then. . .

Micah shook his head to avoid a trip down memory lane. It was better not to get angry with himself.

After all these years, he still blamed himself . . .

No. Don't go there.

By the time Micah convinced his brain not to relive the past, he and Laurnen had arrived at the palace. The Queen immediately ran off to her room, where ever that was, and Micah had the decency not to follow. He didn't need her even more pissed-off at him, now did he? He let her go on. Perhaps she'd forget about him. It was likely. He was nothing more than a game, just something to pass the time. She go back to her perfect life as Queen of the Fae. Back to masks and fake smiles and everything that Laurnen claimed was really her true self. Micah still didn't believe it.

But he hoped she'd remembered him. Something told Micah that one day he'd tick someone off enough that he wouldn't make out alive. He'd get in a fight he didn't have the strength to carry out to the end. Someone with just enough power over Micah would get him killed. Micah didn't know how far away that day was, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that Micah wished he'd left an impression on someone. Just enough to show them who he was, with no masks, no lies, no pretend. He didn't know how well he'd done, but he'd attempted at showing Laurnen some of himself. He hoped she'd noticed. Hoped she wouldn't forget.

Micah wandered around the palace for a little, looking for a steward of some sort that could point him in the direction of the room he was residing. Eventually, he said a maid exit a room. After a short conversation, she agreed to lead him to someone who could help Micah. She introduced him to a steward of some sort, or perhaps a butler. Either way, the man led him back in the direction that Micah and the maid had come from. He showed Micah a room next to the one the maid had exited. At least, Micah thought. He had enough trouble learning all the rooms and corridors in his own home, and the palace was much larger. Micah wouldn't be surprised if was mistaken.

After a quick tour, the steward left the room. Micah discarded his jacket on a chair and entered his bedchamber, ready to crash. Some idiot--oh, yeah, his father--had decided it was a good idea to wake him up early that day and Micah was dead tired. Yet his mind wouldn't shut off. He wished it were like a lamp, that, with a click, Micah could turn off his brain and let his body rest. However, his noggin was not a lamp, and therefore, was much harder to put to rest.

Sighing, Micah opened his eyes. His room was dark; he'd been planning on sleep. Staring at the ceiling, he waited for his eyelids to get so heavy he couldn't keep awake any longer. A few moments later, however, Micah sat bolt upright. He heard something. He hadn't noticed it before, with all his tossing and turned, trying to get comfortable, but now he could definitely hear it: crying.

Or more, downright sobbing.

Well, it wasn't like Micah was getting to sleep anytime soon, anyway.

"Hello?" Micah called, talking through the wall. Apparently, palace walls were thin enough to have conversations through, if he could hear crying. "Everything alright?"

[Laurnen Eliana Kiluna]

Laurnen let out one last heaving sob, then turned back on her back, scrunching her eyes closed in embarrassment. It wasn't like there was anyone to hear her besides herself, but still, it was shaming. Sighing, she righted her blankets from where they were almost falling on the floor to back on the bed, moved one of her many pillows slightly, and lay there.

And continued to lay there. Not being able to sleep, she finally gave up and pushed the covers away. Standing up, her face flushed crimson in about what she was about to do. Heading to her wardrobe, she opened the large doors and sifted through her many dresses and ballgowns and shoes and a lot of other unnecessary things, before drawing out a very dusty wooden box on the floor, hidden behind a particularly floofy fancy gown.

Opening the cover, tears returned to her eyes, and it wasn't just because of the dust that floated upwards upon the disturbance. Drawing out the stuffed bunny rabbit in the box, she hugged it to her chest. Parts of its brown fur were matted down, and it was fluffy no longer. One of its black eyes - made of thread - was almost completely covered by the fur, and some of the beads inside it were missing, but as she held it, she began crying all over again.

Putting the box down on the floor by the wardrobe, she walked back to her large bed and climbed back in with the bunny. Holding it close to her, she curled up in a ball. Her mother had said that when she was a baby and crying, she would give Laurnen the stuffed animal and almost immediately she would calm down. Now, it had the opposite effect - instead of calming, it brought back memories of her mother, and made the Queen miss her more than ever.

It was only then that she heard a muffled voice say, "--alright?" She blinked in surprise, then looked around frantically. Where were they? Had they heard her embarrassing outburst of tears? She sat up in her bed, hurriedly wiping off the remains of tears on her face and clutching the bunny as if it was her lifeline. Cautiously, her eyes darting around, she called out, "H-hello? What did you say?" It was obvious that Laurnen had only heard the end of what the mysterious person had said, and she wanted to be sure that they hadn't heard anything.

[Micah Lorren Blackthorn]

Micah furrowed his brow. He thought he'd talked loud enough for the person to heard, but there was no answer. Plus, the sobbing had stopped. Sighing, Micah leaned against the headboard of his bed, waiting for an answer for a few seconds. He was just about to lay back down and attempt to sleep when he heard a response, "Hello? What did you say?"

Micah smiled softly to himself. At least he wasn't being ignored. Perhaps talking to this person--if she was willing to talk--could help him get his mind off everything, especially Laurnen. (OOC: The irony.) Micah settled himself in a better sitting position, resting against the headboard. "I asked if you were alright. I heard you crying. Are you? Alright, that is."

ooc; My muse just keeled over when I started typing.

[Laurnen Eliana Kiluna]

[ understatement of the year. xD but it's fine - we were writing just, like, five paragraphs about their feelings and thoughts. ]

It took only a moment for the person to reply, and that's when she realized that their voice was coming from . . . the wall? She frowned at the wall for a second, wondering why it was so thin, then shrugged. It wasn't exactly a disadvantage right now. Still, she would have thought it would have been built with thicker walls, especially in the Queen's quarters. It hadn't mattered before, since the room next to hers had never had a guest before, but there were a lot of Fae visiting from other parts of Eulica because of the upcoming festival. The room had used to be her nursery, so that her mother, who used to have this room, could get to her quickly in case she was crying. Some nobles left the care of their children to the nanny, but not her mother. Her heart squeezed painfully and she squeezed her eyes shut again to not start crying.

She smiled at the person's words, thinking it was sweet for them to have worried about someone they didn't even know. She fiddled with one of the bunny's ears while replying, "Oh. I'm fine. Well, I think." She sighed loudly, then added, "Just the events of the day coming back to me."

[Micah Lorren Blackthorn]

Micah sighed, his own thoughts drifting back to his day at the other's words. The fight with his father in the morning, if Micah remembered correctly, about his staying at the palace, which resulted in Micah leaving to drink the night away, then meeting Laurnen . . . It all seemed like too much at the moment. He needed a break, from his father, from the lies, from the wasted nights. God, it was so exhausting and he wasn't even doing anything productive. Maybe his father was right about Micah throwing his life away. Then again, what did his father do with his grief? He locked himself in his room and did nothing--nothing!--and then he complains about what Micah's doing with his own fate? Hypocrite.

Stop it, Micah ordered his brain. "You don't need to think about that," he accidentally said aloud. Then sighed. He obviously was tired. His brain was, at least. The rest of him just didn't want to sleep. He turned to the wall, expecting the person on the other side of it to be as confused as Micah's mind was at the moment. "Sorry. Thinking out loud. And I know the feeling." Micah sighed and rubbed his face absentmindedly. "Today's been crazy for me, too. Want to talk about it? Might help you feel better." And it might help me get my mind off things, too, he added silently.

ooc; *sneezes* ;a;

[Laurnen Eliana Kiluna]

Instantly, her curiosity was piqued. He was obviously trying to steer the conversation away from himself, but she had been trained to notice those things. But still, confessing to him would kill two birds with one stone - help her sort out these confusing emotions, and get him to tell her about his own day when she was done. After all, it wouldn't be considered prying if he was the first to do it?

She leaned comfortably against the headboard of her bed, looking at her stuffed bunny and making it move around with her hands. Laurnen giggled softly at her childish actions, but didn't stop as she thought about what to say without revealing too much. She didn't want whoever it was next to her to find out she was the Queen, because then it would change everything. Besides, he hadn't volunteered any information on who he was, so why should she?

"Well, most of the day was completely boring with me acting as . . . a figurehead. Afterwards, I met someone who confused me and made me doubt myself and I just . . . Well, he got to me more than I can admit." The Queen chuckled sadly, hoping she hadn't accidentally told too much.

[Micah Lorren Blackthorn]

Micah listened, focusing on the other's words and the sound of her voice--the pitch and the way it become softer or louder or deeper or higher with each syllable. After all, that was all Micah had to go by. He wasn't one to pry; he'd never cared before about the background of those he was close to. Obviously, it was a different kind of close, but that was another matter entirely.

Another matter that sent him right back to thinking of Laurnen, how she wasn't just some girl he'd met on the streets. It wasn't because she was Queen, either. It was because she was different.

Micah nearly growled out loud in frustration. Instead, he kept himself quiet and pinched his arm until his mind focused on the pain and not the beautiful fae that he wouldn't forget, likely no matter how drunk he got.

Because his mind was driving him nuts with thoughts of Laurnen, it took Micah a while to respond. He had to reply the other's word in his mind before he could form any type of reply, and her words just made him think of Laurnen all over again. He sighed. "You're a noble of some sort, too? Hell, I know exactly how you feel." Laurnen got under my skin, and now I doubt even setting myself on fire would flush her out. Micah paused for a moment and wondered how, exactly, Laurnen was affecting him so much. Perhaps it was because he'd so dearly hoped that she would understand him, that she would be the only person who could, and then she let him down. Micah told himself that was it. That it wasn't anything more, yet he had a feeling in his gut that said it was something more.

"So what's it like for you? Being whatever position you are, I mean. My title has never treated me nicely, but maybe it gave you some perks."

[Laurnen Eliana Kiluna]

She laughed at what he replied with, snuggling herself into the indent she had made of many years of sleeping on this bed. A smile played on her face as she listened to what he had to say, er eyes shining with understanding and maybe a hint of joy. Yes, this person understood her, almost exactly! She already found herself warming up to him - he was so easy to talk to, but still, she had to be careful that she let nothing personal slip.

"Perks? Besides being stared at, whispered about, and never treated normally for a day in my life, you mean?" Laurnen gave a short, bitter laugh, regretful that she had given this conversation a slightly dark turn. Still, she had never mentioned to anyone about the hardships of being the Queen, and was all smiles on the outside when someone asked her how she was doing. Perhaps Micah is right . . . No, he absolutely was right, she thought, and sighed under her breath so the mystery visitor in the other room wouldn't hear. There she went, thinking about Micah again. Why had his words affected her so deeply? People had insulted her all the time, and it had never caused her this much trouble.

Maybe the reason why she could talk so easily with this other person was because he was almost "faceless" to her, the Queen mused, quietly adding to the conversation, "I suppose by now I should be used to it, but it's odd how I never am. I'm always hurt by how I'm treated by everyone, as if I'm not another person like them and shouldn't be treated as one."